Monday, April 24, 2006

Reminiscing Through Right Wing Claptrap

Rooting through some blog archives, I noted some ridiculous, but typical, statements by right wing bloggers I've dealt with:

"The best health care in the world is available for free in America to anyone who wants it."
This guy meant it, too. He honestly believed that free healthcare was already available to everyone in America. By the way, this guy has an MBA.

"A college education is available for free in America to anyone who wants it."
This guy meant it, too. The statement was so ludicrous that, at the time, I think I asked him what planet he was from.

"If someone can't find a job where they are, they should move to another city where there's work. I myself have given drifters bus fare out of town."
Wow, that's a Reagan-esque job strategy if there ever was one. As realistic as an old movie plot, and just as practical. Try showing up in a community for the first time, with no clothes, etc., but what you can carry, unwashed, with no place to live, no money, not even a place to go to the bathroom. Then, go look for a good job. According to the right, you'll be raking in the dough before you even feel hungry again.

"Poor people are poor by choice."
In the magical world of the "right", there is no such thing as natural disaster, catastrophic illness, automobile accidents, disease, cancer, crime, savings-and-loan scandals, Enron, birth defects... theirs is a perfect world where bad things never happen. No external forces exist that could impact your resources or income.

"Poor people are lazy."
Hop out of your SUV and bus some tables for a full shift, smartass.

"The world doesn't owe them a living."
Liberals never said it did. We only said that we have a responsibility to take care of each other. Sorry, righties, if that sounds too “nuanced” for your “don’t touch my stuff!” right-wing-greed-o-rama (the Christian version, of course). Notice we don’t whine like republicans even though blue-state liberals pay more in taxes, and red-state “conservatives” are the welfare-addicted entitlement junkies who keep suckin’ it down!. Get a job, right wing moochers!

Maybe it's because republicans secretly envy the French, but they love the word "nuance". The use it derisively against leftists as an insult, not realizing that leftists are not offended by being described as seeing the big picture and acknowledging all the details. Besides, wing nuts nuance their asses off when it suits their agenda. Just ask one to explain how they never really said that Saddam Hussein and 9/11 were linked. It’s like a ballet.

"Liberals are anti-American/hate America/etc."
Except that this country was conceived and founded by liberals, who designed the nation to acknowledge the freedoms (liberties - y'know?) we all enjoy and which have been hijacked by the right as belonging to them alone. Conservatives can thank liberals for the great things about America that they claim to value.

There’s more out there, but you get the idea.

By the way, here's a great article with a lot of words for right-wing pundits to choke on.


windspike said...

Nice post Shea.

Blog on brother.

Mike V. said...

Shea, it's obvious you hate America and all that it stands for.

SheaNC said...

Windspike: thanks 8^)

Mike V: Yeah, I gotta keep a low profile...

BadTux said...

You forgot, "Liberals are un-Christian".

Because, y'know, Jesus Christ always said "Kick the poor, and spit on them, for they are less than nothing."

Alrighty, then!

-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Simon said...

HAHAHA! Stop, you're killing me here! These are great!

SheaNC said...

BadTux: You're right! I can't believe I forgot to include the incredible lines that were uttered during the harrowing "war on Christmas"!

Simon: ...and these are just the ones I remembered off the top of my head!

Mike of the North said...

MBA... Master of Bulls*#t Acceptance. Spotted the deanoism immediately.

But what can you expect out of people that believe that saddam had WMDs, preemptive war against a muslim state makes america safer, israel has the right to occupy palestine because the bible says so, iran shouldn't have nuclear weapons but pakistan, india, and israel should, tax breaks for the wealthy help working americans, katrina victims chose to stay in new orleans.......AARRRGHH!!!!!!

oh yeah, don't forget the freakin' rapture.

isabelita said...

Yes! "Nuance." What a fricking crock of mierda. Started picking up on the misuse/overuse/abuse of this word by GOP sympathizers and apologists a few years ago, and have been pissed about it ever since.

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