The Fuel Crisis Explained

Call me slow on the uptake, but I finally have this whole fuel-price-fiasco figured out:

To begin with, we know that the Bush administration has demonstrated a consistent pattern of responding to disapproval by the sudden appearance of a crisis of relative proportions. The greater the disapproval, the greater the crisis. Usually this involves playing on fear (the Bushists' favorite tactic - manipulating public fears - terrorism). For example, whenever the polls go down, a new videotape of Osama Bin Laden arrives, or some other terrorist alert is pronounced. It has become predictable and expected.

Unfortunately, because of its predictability, many people have grown jaded to this boy-who-cried-wolf tactic. So the Bush regime is forced to look to "plan B": an energy crisis.

The Bush administration is first and foremost a front for the energy industry. It is staffed by energy industry honchos. It's first priorities have been to secure wealth and power for the energy industry on a global scale. They even have taken the US military away from us to use as storm troopers to achieve their goals. They have bankrupt the country in order to enrich and empower themselves, and everything is secondary to those ends, including human life, national security, the environment... everything.

Since they are the controllers of energy, it was only a matter of time before they played this card. Remember, their strategy in the so-called "war on terror" has been to create a diversion of catastrophic proportions while they shamelessly rape our country. Knowing that the citizenry is fed up with that, they move to plan B, which is to repeat their successful formula with fuel. They are creating this crisis (they control the prices, remember?), and now they will have George Bush, our hero, ride in and rescue us. Gas prices will fall as Bush poses and struts Gollum-like across public-appearance stages, microphone in hand, adjusting his good-ol-boy accent to suit the audience, sneering and hunch-backed like his surrogate father Unca' Dick, snickering and giggling one moment and wide-eyed with exasperation the next, uttering his constant catchphrase, "I know [current issue] is important. I understand that [current issue] is important. But..."

The bottom line: The oil-industry cronies who run this country are artificially raising prices to cause a distraction from the Bush administration's low approval ratings, and plan to improve those ratings by lowering prices after Bush makes a show of forcing them to play nice. He will make tough statements and seemingly heartfelt promises, the energy industry will lower their prices, and their man in the White House, bought and paid for, will be a hero again, smart and brave and crusading to save us all from our "addiction." The prices will go down, approval will go up, and all will return to the way it was. Just like they want. Dissent stifled. Mission accomplished.

In the world of addiction, it is the supplier, not the addict, who usually wins.

Oh, and as an added bonus for their trouble, Bush is taking the opportunity to remove environmental safety regulations! Happy birthday, oil companies!