Friday, May 29, 2009

The Constantly Amazing solution to partisan conflict

A wise blogger once wrote that we should not whine about society's problems without offering a solution. Personally, I think that's too heavy a burden. But it is nice to offer at least a suggestion sometimes, right?

Well, here at Constantly Amazed, we go that extra step and just solve the world's problems anyway.

Recently, I described how to solve California's budget problems. Not to rest on my laurels, I will now offer another Constantly Amazing solution: How to end partisan sniping in American politics.

Now, the Democrats will have to take the first step on this one, but here it goes: All they have to do is, en masse, switch their party affiliation from democrat to republican... and voila! No more partisan bickering possible.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying the former dems should discard their values. I'm saying they should take their progressive selves, values and all, and simply become... the NEW republican party! They could go on doing what they did before, just under a new name. Not only would there be no more bickering between parties possible... but as a the majority, the former dems would actually redefine the republican party from the ground up. The old republican politicians, what's left of them, would be reduced to their role of the party's howling little mob of extremists, and eventually voted out as troublemakers. Most Republican voters would be fine with it since they would still have their familiar product-label recognition. The few who objected could splinter off and form their own little ineffectual extremist parties where they could no longer do any harm. They could deify their rightwing media heroes, hold conventions, have tea parties, and put up candidates like, yes, Palin-Bachman and "Joe the Plumber".

So there we have it. In my Constantly Amazing wisdom (don't worry, I'm as humble as ever), I have solved the California economic crisis and brought an end to partisan gridlock. As soon as I get loaded up with caffeine tomorrow morning, I'll see what other crises I can solve.


Grandpa Eddie said...

Sounds like a good idea, Shea.
I just don't picture any self respecting Dem that would want to be associated with anything Republican right now.


That's Right Grampa,

But we old-time democrats are shocked when we learn that Uncle Georgie Soros' CEO of MoveOnDot Org, Eli Pariser...said in 2004 of our Party, "We bought it, we own it, it's Ours!

It's Big Money, big union bosses,
and big government nowadays.

Now..It's the "Progressive Party"
whether we like it or not!

Hell's Bells, the first time I voted was back in 1948, and Harry Truman (my hero) beat Thomas E. Dewey, from N.Y. City!

Now, everything is 'Change'...change to what?

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