Monday, October 20, 2008

The Emperor's New Clothes

I find it amusing (or weird) that the mainstream media either hasn't noticed, or is ignoring the fact, that the republican nominee for president is running on a platform that is 180 degrees opposite of conservative. Weirder still, republicans (they used to call themselves conservative) don't seem to care, and democrats aren't taking the opportunity to point it out, either.

The definition of conservatism is to conserve the status quo. To maintain what is established and resist change. To employ tried-and-true methods and embrace traditional values. To surround ones self with the familiar. To stay the course. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. If it is broke, fix it but for god’s sake don’t include any design improvements. If it stays fixed, don’t fix it. If it breaks again, fix it but for god’s sake don’t include any design improvements. If it…” you get the picture. Often, it involves a desire to return to an idealized version of the past.

Now, let’s look at the Republican party catchphrases for this election (in other words, their sales pitch):

"Standing up against their own party."

Huh?! None of that has anything to do with conservatism. Not one bit. Yet those are the pillars of their campaign.

Change. They had to jump on this one after Obama used it and everyone liked it, a lot. Now the republican candidate says they’re the real party of change, the kind "you can believe in." The only change they're good for is changing their message to steal another candidate's thunder. Any way you slice it, "change" and "conservative" are incompatible. Together, they're an oxymoron. On the republican ticket, they say, "desperate enough to acknowledge the failure of conservative values and their rejection by most people."

Reform: Reform is the exact opposite of what conservatism is all about. Honestly – is there one member of the red team that has ever spent a moment in a political science class? Or did they learn all they needed to know about politics, and society from talk radio? It's so laughably ironic that the party that once elevated their pronoun-challenged mantra “stay the course” to the level of Gregorian chant now pins its hopes on candidates who sing the praises of “reform”. And the fact that McCain's first defense of Palin's credentials is always her supposed record as a "reformer" is so funny in it's idological perversity that it must have real conservatives sobbing with laughter. Or just sobbing.

“Standing up against your own party.” OMG! Can you believe that nonconformism is now a preferred value of the establishment party!? The republican party!? The ones who spent the dawn of the 21st century striving to create a permanent republican majority, the ones who threatened to punish anyone who dared deal with a democrat, the ones who made it clear in no uncertain terms that party loyalty was more important than human life; you were with ‘em or against ‘em, and if you were against the republicans you were against god and country. Now the republicans' candidate for president is boasts about how he "stood up against his own party." He also chastises Obama for not "stand up" against the democratic party (as if that even matters: maybe, during his time in congress, Obama didn't need to oppose his party. Ever think of that, John McStupid?).

Anyway, is this the most backward logic or what: the republican party wants you to think that they are running the candidate who opposed the party who is running the candidate. In the words of Mickey Goldmill, "Shrewd."

Have you ever seen the movie Little Nicky? Remember Jon Lovitz’ character, who would do something evil, then be punished while screaming, “I deserve this! I deserve this!” There’s the new republican party mascot.

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